So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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