Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
