If that was your dad, he is hot
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
my shit smells like andre
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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