I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
