i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Damn victory sex feels great
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
