Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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