he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history