I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Enjoy the penises