Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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