he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!