Texts From Last Night

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  (424): View more from California

  The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.

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  (424): The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration. http://tfl.nu/aroj
  Replies (6) Good night (875) Bad night (1608)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.

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  (973): No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world. http://tfl.nu/0x21
  Replies (23) Good night (5197) Bad night (712)
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  (585): View more from New York

  bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning

  (1-585): View more from New York

  oh god.. jail?

  (585): View more from New York

  better, on the catwalk of the auditorium

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  (585): bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning (1-585): oh god.. jail? (585): better, on the catwalk of the auditorium http://tfl.nu/ulvj
  Replies (22) Good night (8713) Bad night (704)
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  (530): View more from California

  regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle

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  (530): regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle http://tfl.nu/1njn
  Replies (10) Good night (3506) Bad night (1861)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.

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  (765): It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night. http://tfl.nu/hkf5
  Replies (13) Good night (2712) Bad night (1435)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far

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  (609): We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far http://tfl.nu/58dc
  Replies (11) Good night (5860) Bad night (1295)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.

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  (978): Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus. http://tfl.nu/c88k
  Replies (9) Good night (3107) Bad night (638)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"

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  (719): I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!" http://tfl.nu/n0v3
  Replies (2) Good night (1549) Bad night (511)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Cute underage boy is in my house.

  (410): View more from Maryland

  OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.

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  (610): Cute underage boy is in my house. (410): OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE. http://tfl.nu/uq1q
  Replies (13) Good night (1734) Bad night (614)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.

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  (787): The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared. http://tfl.nu/3l2w
  Replies (1) Good night (374) Bad night (594)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  How does that even work?

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  (702): I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother. (920): How does that even work? http://tfl.nu/1f27
  Replies (5) Good night (597) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.

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  (801): I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta. http://tfl.nu/x5wu
  Replies (2) Good night (825) Bad night (443)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis

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  (913): I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis http://tfl.nu/drda
  Replies (2) Good night (450) Bad night (216)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.

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  (309): I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong. http://tfl.nu/mdfo
  Replies (1) Good night (495) Bad night (252)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour

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  (607): Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour http://tfl.nu/fhu0
  Replies (1) Good night (238) Bad night (615)

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