I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
