we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
