garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
