Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize