I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
