She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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