Where did you get a picture of my penis
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
