You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
so much tequila, so little girl.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
