i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm too high and old for this...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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