Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
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