I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
