the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
me + whiskey = a bad person
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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