The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize