cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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