i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
