I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I could fuck to npr.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
