If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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