"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize