dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
