so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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