I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
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