I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
