I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Just pee around me
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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