I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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