How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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