dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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