Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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