It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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