he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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