Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
