She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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