i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
