i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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