Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
