You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
you never un-have a 4some
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
