I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
