Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
