Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
