i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
