he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
i think im in europe. pls send help
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
