oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
