I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Randomize
