sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
