I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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