The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
How does one acquire holy water?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
