We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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