Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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