When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize