I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I have aggressive nipples.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Randomize
