Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
